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Polagalo 13 kadeta za policajca. Skupila se komisija, poredjaše se kadeti u red, pa  jedan od članova komisije,poče s ispitivanjem i postavi prvom kadetu pitanje: Daj nam ti reci jednu marku  automobila? Ovaj ko iz  topa reče : ''JAGUAR'', medjutim, onaj drugi - što je bio iza njega, nije odmah razumeo pa reče pomalo  zbunjeno ''FEBRUAR'', treći onda nastavi pa reče: ''MART'' i tako redom, do 12tog kadeta svi izredjaše mesece u godini, a ovaj zadnji - 13. kadet sav zbunjen i izgubljen, gleda levo - desno, drhti... pa najzad pruži ruku  komisiji i  reče:  ''SRETNA NOVA GODINA'' :D 

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Koja je e-mail adresa mađarske sove?

- hu@hu.hu

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Uzeo meda vijagru i krenuo kroz sumu.

Kada ga videle zivotinje, sve se razbezale.

Ide tako meda, sav napaljen, kroz sumu i naidje na jeza

Jez se sklupcao, trese se od straha...

 

"Medo daću ti, ali ti je mnogo dlakav"

"U jebote, zaboravio sam da skinem zeku"

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Sreli se Mujo i Haso, pa će Mujo Hasi:
• Bolan Haso, rado bih se otarasio Fate ali ne znam kako?
• Pa to ti je Mujo lako; 40 dana po 3 puta dnevno seks i ima da ti Fata rikne.
Dan 39-ti. Mujo jedva hoda, podupro se štapom a noge drhte. Pita ga Haso kako mu je Fata a Mujo će na to:
• Eno je kući, širi veš i sve pevuši, a ne zna jadna da će sutra da umre.

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  • 1 month later...
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
 
\She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
 
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
 
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
 
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a

cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
 
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat
 
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and  he could no longer resist
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park
a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. 


  The directions said to place it on the organ,
keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. 


  Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
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  • 2 weeks later...

Cela ova situacija u Ukrajini me podsetila na stari dedin vic:

 

Dolazi sin kući i žali se ćaletu da mu je bakalin zavalio šamar.

 

- Šta, mom sinu?! Sad će on da vidi svoga boga, spremaj se idemo pravo tamo.

 

Oni u bakalnici, ćale se isprsi i kaže:

 

- Čujem da deliš batine unaokolo, ajde preda mnom da vidim kako mu lupaš šamar!

 

Bakalin zavali sinu šljagu iz krošea. Sin krene refleksno da pobegne, a ćale:

 

- Ne, ne, ne, ne stani, ajde šmekeru čik još jednom!

 

Bakalin opali jednu još jaču. A ćale će:

 

- Ajmo sine kući ovaj je lud..

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

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